Ever since the inception of the world wide web and easily accessible communication, the world caught up on the wave of sharing information. The age of information sharing brought along with it several good things, exchange of ideas happened – some things were exported while some were imported – not all was good.
Of these not all so good things was the concept of being ‘judgmental’. Simply, by using this concept as a weapon, people became chickens who could not hold an opinion, or take a stand because they did not wish to be judgmental.
However, over the short period of my millennial existence and several first hand chicken experiences while being at the receiving end and some ‘judgmental’ experiences while being at the giver’s end, I realized the evolution of the concept is absolute bull****.
Yes, you read that right – it’s bull****.
Here’s what it originally meant:
of or denoting an attitude in which judgments about other people’sconduct are made
Here’s what it has evolved to:
1. My escape route for not taking a stand.
2. The reason why I myself can choose to live in absolute denial by not acknowledging an unjust act and in the process save myself from moral queries of my own consciousness.
3. Part of a phrase where I can use the adjective to say whatever the hell I want to say without bearing consequences since I was not ‘judgmental’.
Do you know who is the most judgmental person on the planet?
Because …S/he gets paid for it.
By the current standards of the world, I am a judgmental person. Let me explain. I am the most accepting of people irrespective of their colour, last name, ethnicity, gender, language or sexual orientation – it doesn’t matter to me. I am also kind to people’s limitations and mistakes to a larger extent. However, I am pretty judgmental as well.
I am judgmental because I tend to form a firm opinion of my beliefs while perceiving a person, a group, an organization, a brand etc. The parameter to do so is simple. I judge you by the standard you set for me. I form a strong opinion based on the expectation you set for me by what you communicate to me and by what you communicate about yourself in the larger public space.
When you do go wrong, basically, totally in stark contrasting to the beliefs you preach, you become hypocritical and by calling you hypocritical – the current standards of the world, by default make me judgmental in the process. However, I would rather take a firm stand on things in accordance with my ever-evolving belief system which is set in a boundary whose direction I catch with a moral compass based on the premise of kindness.
For eg. If a particular organization says that they are the kindest most accepting of people who wish to join them, and if you personally witness that they exclude people from the community based on the standard of elitism – you can call that out as absolute bull****.
If a spiritual guru says he loves everyone equally and respects nature; however, if the event of his own cult takes the ecosystem couple of hundred years closer to destruction, you can say the spiritual Guru and his entire cult is absolute bull****.
Calling a spade, a spade is not technically being judgmental. It’s saying things as they are.
Therefore, I am judgmental and I am proud of it. It is important to be clear in your head of the things you encounter, of the people you meet not all the time but at least where it matters. Why to spend the entire life in a haze, in world of illusions where you’re bouncing from one wall to the next?
Why not carve your path for yourself? But, how will you carve the path for yourself, by forming strong opinions based on what resonates with you. It doesn’t matter how strong your opinions are – it does matter whether they are not about physically or emotionally hurting or violating someone.
The intent has to be that of clarity and if in the process of understanding that a spade is a spade, if you get called out on being judgmental, embrace it. You don’t have to go and impose or unncessarily go on claiming that ‘a spade is a spade’ but you do have to have this space in your head based on logic and clarity where you know why you believe what you do. That’s all that matters.
Beware: If you call people out on their bull****, they will call you out on yours too and that’s why no one wants to be “judgmental”. Please have the courage to be judgmental where it matters. It’s good for both parties involved.